Photo by Dita Photography
How many of you ladies have gotten that excitement filled phone call from a close friend announcing she’s engaged? She asks you to be a bridesmaid, you say yes, then the next thing you know she’s driving you completely nuts! If that hasn’t happened to you yet, you’re fortunate!
Whether you are a bridal party virgin or a repeat offender, here are 4 important questions to ask the yourself, the bride or both before saying yes!
- Is it affordable? Being part of a wedding is a lot of fun, but it’s also an expensive undertaking. More often than not, you’ll be expected to pay for your own dress, shoes and if she’s really picky, professional hair and make-up! On top of that you have the bridal shower and bachelorette party. Don’t forget about destination weddings! Remember, destination doesn’t necessarily mean leaving the country. If you live an hour away from the wedding site, chances are you won’t want to drive home after a long day and night of partying. That means hotel accommodations! If this sounds like more than your wallet can handle, be honest with the bride and politely decline. Who knows, she might offer to help!
- Do you have the time? It’s not as simple as just showing up to all of the above. Rehearsals and rehearsal dinners, engagement parties, bridesmaids luncheons, spa days, countless phone calls and emails to coordinate everything and shopping are extremely time consuming tasks! Ask yourself if you have the time or desire to commit before saying yes!
- Will you have to deliver a toast? If so and you’re okay with it, proceed to #4! However, some people are absolutely terrified of public speaking. Nothing makes for a worse toast than a person dripping sweat into their champagne flute while standing paralyzed as if preparing themselves to be hit head on by a train! Not the Maid of Honor? Don’t think you’re off the hook! Trust me, she gets first dibs on being terrified, ensuring the bride will go down the line of her lovely ladies looking for a replacement!
- Do you have separation anxiety? This one is going to seem far-fetched, but believe me when I tell you that it’s more common than I care to know! On occasion, couples (married or in a relationship) are both in a bridal party – one as a bridesmaid, one as a groomsman. I orchestrate wedding ceremonies all the time! Sometimes it just doesn’t work having an involved couple paired with one another, typically due to height! Are you that woman who does not want her man escorting another woman down the aisle or not sitting right next to you during the reception? If so, politely decline and save the bride (and her wedding planner) the drama! If it sounds ridiculous and crazy, that’s because it is. I vividly recall two bridesmaids that needed to be physically restrained to keep them from attacking me because I assigned their husbands to escort other women during the Processional and Recessional. Why not just make the change, you ask? The perfect appearance of the bridal party at the altar in the very expensive photos for which my clients paid was far more important to me than a loony tunes bridesmaid and her marital woes!
Subscribe to stay up to date with my wedding planning tips and advice. Have a question? Email me info@weddingsbyjonette.com or Tweet me.
Advertisement
Tags: Bridal Party, Bridesmaids, Bridezilla, Wedding Advice, Wedding Etiquette
I’ve only had the pleasure of being a bridesmaid twice but both times were so much fun! Thankfully, there was no drama – I can’t believe people would have the nerve to act that way at someone’s wedding, yikes! I also never had to deliver a toast, I’m much too shy for that. Very good points about time and expenses, both things we don’t always think about. Weddings can be so much fun!
Oh yes, so much fun! Thankfully, the bridesmaid experience is usually a lot of fun. I hope these points help others think. Avoid the drama:)
I’d make a horrible bridesmaid. I don’t like to wear dresses, don’t like to be the center of attention or whatever you’d call having to stand up in front of people, plus I don’t like public speaking.
However, I’m a great friend. I’ll attend the bachelorette party, the bridal shower, go gown shopping, and all that stuff.
At least you know that about yourself:) That’s the key! Besides, the shopping and parties are much more fun!
I haven’t had the pleasure and this doesn’t upset me one bit!
I suppose there is a chance that I may be asked at some point – I’ve still got one single friend left. I’ll be in touch as soon as she gets engaged and asks me to be in the wedding arty 
You watch! That one friend is going to ask you just because you mentioned it lol! Just make sure you bookmark this page my friend. I’ve had the honors a couple of times, one of which I planned, as well. I’ll never do THAT again! I have video of me pulling double duty if you’d like to see it.